I like how the last time I posted, the date was 1-7-09, and now it is 7-1-09. My, how time flies...I've celebrated a natal birthday, a sobriety birthday, the end of another school year. I've dealt with the loss of a parent and the loss of a job. I've joined another 12-step program that goes hand in hand with AA which has helped contribute to my sanity and ability to express my feelings, sometimes. (Progress, not perfection...) All in all, it's been an eventful six months, and I feel like nothing's as bad as it seems it will be. Or at least, that is what I have learned in this half-year.
A safe place like the rooms has kept me from the obsession. You see, that's what really is much worse than the actual events strung together that are actually, as some people call it, L I F E. The obsession - the "bondage of self"*- is what made me try to solve my problems with alcohol or drugging just so I would ignore it. But with that, I missed out on L I F E too. Now I'm experiencing both, and am so grateful to the meetings for helping me with that. See it's in those places that I can share without feeling labeled or judged. That comes as a direct result of two things -- one, being the idea of principles before personalities, and the other being Tradition 11.
Principles before personalities means simply that -- judge people not on who they are or how they act, but what principles they set forth. Someone I don't want to listen to may just have the exact thought I need to hear. If I try to ignore them because of their annoying voice or tendency to bash people after meetings, then I might simply miss whatever message they might be carrying.
The other factor I have really come to cherish is this: "Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need ALWAYS maintain personal anonymity..." Tradition 11 is important because it is guaranteeing that you will be kept anonymous. This means a lot to me because I know I have expressed a lot of pain and a lot of joy in the rooms. But my secrets are kept secret except to those that can and want to help. I am grateful to that because I know I am safe, that no one will call anyone and report on how I feel.
Anonymity and a place that promotes the better side of humanity -- what an amazing concept. And how even more amazing that I have found the place that intertwines them both to let my heart out? No wonder I am sober and free to "trudge the road of happy destiny..." I am complete.
*= Bill Wilson
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