Doors Opening, ding!

Yesterday, my mom told me about how my dad doesn't want to get a biopsy, but how she's still trying to convince him. "Who knows if it will make this cough go away? Then what's the point?" I can hear my dad argue. I can also hear myself arguing back with him, in a moment of weakness -- it might make it better, it might reassure us, it might, it might, it might. Sometimes the "it mights" are as bad as the "what ifs". However, when my mom calls me and tells me about her latest plight to right him, I have to remind her a lesson I learned the other day, "We can't make him, Mom." We can drag him to the doctor's office, we can make him listen to the doctor, but we cannot make him go under the knife, no matter how many problems, or "it mights" we think it's going to solve. And that's okay.

I say that's okay because my dad has lived a long life, and told us his best part of his life was the past 30 years with us. But I also say that's okay, because who would want that responsibility? Of course we all want to force someone to do something for us, but in reality, would we really want to have the power to be able to force them? That could be dangerous -- if I could have made people in the past do what I wanted, I would have a very different, very unstable, possibly unhappy life but definitely unhealthy life right now. I would have been stuck in my first dimension, with that creature from it, and stuck in my old hometown, having never met any of my soulmates that have enriched my life. Hardly any lessons would have been learned, and this blog would definitely not be here. Wow, it's a trip thinking about it, but not a trip I can afford to take today.

This lesson, this one about not being able to force anyone to do anything is something I am sure might not stick with me. In fact, I know it won't, because I was trying to will someone into a new life yesterday. I don't want her to be in pain, I know she deserves better, but I also have to know I can't force her to choose what I think to be wisely. I cannot be her higher power, I cannot be my dad's, I cannot be my exes' higher power (collective sigh of relief, boys) , and I cannot be Chester's higher power. I can show them what I have learned in my experience, and I can tell them what I think would satisfy me, but if that lesson, that door isn't ready to be open for them, then I won't jimmy it open. I am a teacher, I am a recovering alcoholic, but I am not AAA who comes and opens doors for people with a tool. Their hands alone can turn the knobs that my crowbar is powerless against.

That's all I've got, off to school today again and trying to spread goodness to all. Thanks for letting me share, be true and stay strong. You're wonderful.