the sponsor

On Monday, a few miracles happened. I know, you're probably rolling your eyes, but srsly. They did, and as a result of a meeting being cancelled. (Who does that, anyway? Cancelling a meeting for AA?? But I digress. Back to the story...) So our usual forty-plus meeting was whittled down to just oh, eight brave people who didn't mind sitting on the sidewalk of the boulevard and baring their alcoholic souls so that people might overhear. And it was a great meeting. An open, honest share from a girl whose story sounded just like mine -- family and herself perfect on the outside, high-functioning, but falling apart and being self-destructive on the inside.

Then, I saw this woman next to me, who I could have sworn I knew from somewhere. As she began talking about missing her old crew in another county, I knew who she was. The black hair, the colorful tattoo and the Coach purse were all clues and she confirmed who she was when she opened her mouth. It was a woman I had known and absolutely admired back when I was first in the program, about a year and a half ago. See, I started going to meetings in November of '06, and quit in April of '07. It just didn't click for me. Anyway, this woman, who I will call "Julie", starts in on her old crew and how she just doesn't feel a part of the crew up here, and she's not connecting. (This can be very dangerous for the alcoholic. Most alcoholics are, after all, co-dependent.) And then I make the connection of who she is, and I can barely sit still through the rest of the meeting. Finally, after everyone shares, a rarity in the typical AA meeting and no doubt a sign of both how small we were in numbers but how large we were in need of the meeting, we closed. I went up to her, asked her if she used to go to this club and she recognized me right away! I saw in her eyes this warmth, a connection and happiness, and we exchanged numbers.

Yesterday she called me, reminding me of this great women's meeting today. I texted her back that I was pretty sure I would go, but not a hundred percent sure. Today I called and asked her where it was, and assured her I would be there. I was late, unfortunately, to the meeting, but I still made it to hear the speaker speak, sharing time and for snacks. (It sounds like kindergarten, doesn't it?) Julie wasn't there yet. I got my fourth newcomer chip in the past nine days, which I was reluctant in picking up, but proudly put it on my purse with the key chain that comes with it. Julie came in afterwards, and told the leader I would lead the group in the Serenity Prayer for closing, which has saved my life and sobriety in the past nine days. Afterwards, I helped her carry out the literature box, and she gave me the Daily Meditation book to read. Then, I popped the question...will you be my sponsor? And this woman, that I wanted so desperately to be my sponsor last year at the other club but we never really connected, said yes! I am floored and so excited to have her be my official lifeline, but I am really grateful for everyone I have met. Especially the other miracle from Monday -- my blog partner-in-crime up in the bay area who keeps sending me words of support. Such an inspiration, and so nice to know we're out here writing about this.

Anyway, from these kind folks I get at least three texts or two calls a day, which helps so much, and in return, I send out three or five texts or calls or emails. Together, we are fighting this disease and succeeding. It's funny, Kanye West writes, "I'm trying to write my wrongs, but it's funny how these wrongs helped write this song." This is so true of this program. Yeah, we have all made mistakes but those mistakes are what got us here, and those mistakes are what are helping us write these songs of friendship and strength, not to mention blog entries that might help someone who is lost or curious about getting sober. Thanks for letting me share.