I went to bed last night, puzzled as how to start this new world that I'm creating. Then somehow through my dreams, I got the message that all I have to do is start it, and stop making excuses of having writer's block. So here I am.
Welcome to my road of recovery. I have been sober from alcohol for 9 days at the end of today, which will be in about, 14 hours. I was lead to recovery through real friends who were using the words "self-destructive" and "full of apologies but not action" to describe me. When I heard those words, I knew I had to change something, so I started going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. In fact, the day I heard those words at 10am, I went to a noon meeting in Hollywood, where I saw a couple of familiar faces, faces that have been on television or movies, faces that I will respect and not reveal, but faces that are inspirational to me. I mean, they have it all. Money, adoring fans, cars I will never be able to afford, and this destructive disease.
I have to admit, when I first walked into the doors of the club, I was unsure if I really wanted to stop drinking. I told my friends and my family and even myself after the meeting that I was just "doing this to keep myself in check". I didn't want to admit I had a problem. But I found after my second meeting, along with reading some of Dr. Drew's wise words, that I do have a powerlessness over alcohol, and that I cannot have any of it. It eats me alive and turns me into a self-destructive, unlovable, snarky and mean human being. I don't deserve that.
Luckily I'm here to admit that, and to help people feel like they're not alone. Because they aren't. At the very least, I am here for them. This blog will be available to read and comment on, and it will be a tale of my recovery and my sobriety. I hope you like it, but even if you don't, well, my name is Mireya and I'm an alcoholic. Thanks for letting me share.
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