Friday, May 9, 2008

Carbon

So last night when I was having emotions, I comforted myself with some good ol' Tori Amos. She used to be my source of comfort steadily, until I had my last downward spiral and decided in a drunken state that she's sold out. Which she is. But now that I'm sober, hell, I'll cling on to an old memory to get me through the night without drinking and to help reteach me how to cope. I guess I thought that since she was an obsession for so much of my life and then let me down in various ways on tour last year (hello! a red wig, tori, really?!?), that I didn't connect with her music anymore. But last night she sympathized with me. When I feel down and need some strength, I listen to this song called Carbon off her seventh album, "Scarlet's Walk". She usually writes in abstract metaphors but you'll get it if you get it. These are the some of the lyrics I held onto last night as I thought about how I can't control life.

"Little Sis you must crack this"
he says to me
"you must go in again
carbon-made
only wants
to be unmade" ...

and keep your eyes on her
keep
don't look away
keep your eyes on
her eyes
on her horizon


At the beginning of this video that I found, she tells a story about her daughter, who was a miracle to her. The story is funny and very sincere, and then she goes into this beautiful song about getting through pain. I think that's a great inspiration, because to me, it helps me realize that you can get through pain and then live life too, a thought which eluded me for a bit this year. I'm feeling much better this morning, thanks to my writing and thanks to my drawing last night.

Oh, and by the way, during the most painful part of the song, the videographer had to hide his camera, but comes back for the hopeful moment at the end where she reminds us to keep our eyes on the horizon, no matter what. I hope you like it.
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)