Unbelievable

I'm learning how to cut the ties, and it's painful. Being a teacher, I always want to see the potential in people, and it saddens me when they can't live up to their potential. But I have to just accept it, cut out people who don't live up to my standards. What's ironic is that I wasn't living up to their standards at one time, but now that I am, they're not living up to mine. Life is funny that way, I guess.

So I cried, and I probably will cry a few more times before this year is over. Maybe after that too.

What's more amazing about this, is that I was just so letting myself feel in the car on the way home. I was going to go to the Farmer's Market, but my battery was dying in my phone, and my emotional battery was sunk too. So I went home. Then, I got a text, unsolicited, from one of my best friends in the world, who does not text unsolicited. Sometimes he doesn't even text solicited...but anyway. It said, "Sorry I couldn't call you back yet. Very long week. Going now to help mom. How r you?" I could not f-ing believe it. I just couldn't. I needed it, and it was sent to me.

And then I go look in my book for an inspirational title, and it opens to a page that says..."We each have to grab our own happiness, create our own richness through experieces. We may share what we capture with loved ones, but like us, they too must search their own avenues for the satisfaction that lasts. We can neither give happiness to another, like a gift, nor expect it in return. " Part of cutting this loss is realizing that I am happy, and if people choose not to see that, well, I feel sad for them, but I can't change it. When they're happy enough and they're ready...I'm here.

Just further proof that I deserve people who love me and they will find their way to me as life sees fit. No pushing, no prodding required.